Ive been told that the time between being 18-25 is like the hardest years of most people's lives but honestly, I just hate it, and I don't know what my future will even look like and it feels just so immature but I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now and I just care more about him then I do about collage I signed up with an idea that I would be doing what I wanted and I paid for and that maybe I could make friends and explore new things but collage is massively overrated and the thing Is is that I like learning but they just dont have anything for me to do that Is new for me and since I cant pay for my own classes my parents only allowed me to take two and I really wanted the C++ course really badly but for some reason I am not allowed to take it bc it’s too full I was on the wait list but now it’s over and ill have to wait till next semester to take it it’s a fully digital class there should be no reason for it to have a maximum capacity of 25 students thats like nothing I could talk all day about the things that suck about my collage but that would get me nowhere but if I am being honest I just dont even care to go to my classes anymore I Dont even want to do the work it’s not hard I just dont want to be here I wanted to actually learn and feel good about what I was doing with my life but now It looks like I am forced to take these courses so I could have a small chances at taking the classes I actually wanted to take and thats only after I pass and pay for new classes in a couple months and I dont want to be told to be a blue collar worker I tried that and my boss threw me under the bus after I gave them everything I could nobody will be looking out for me in the work place so I want to actually do work that I want to do so that I dont have to worry about having my feelings hurt when I dont get a raise for promotion from doing the hardest work I can do but the collage im in cant give that to me and I cant really go to a university for a lot of different reasons so I really dont know what to do bc nothing I can do will satisfy me the only thing I have to look forward to is my Boyfriend and my hobbies thats all I have I have no idea what kind of work ill do but I know sooner rather then later I will be living with my boyfriend and thats all I care about besides my own ambitions to generally be a creative person I dont want till july to fly to my Boyfriend I dont want to stay in collage I just want to program video games learn how to make websites make computers and keep my boyfriend close with me forever I am just really worried that my collage is not going to be able to provide that for me Also, I apologize for basically skipping January and not updating my site. I have clearly not been in a good mood

I kind realized today that I have a high school diploma and I dont have to finish collage if I really dont want to im an adult now after all and I kinda forget that I can make my own decisions but I would feel a little bad about not doing what my parents what me to do in the sense that they think I am more intelligent then I really am and they want me to be more advanced but I really hate collage right now so I would rather not force myself to suffer more just to please my parents but I cant really be sure of what to do until the spring semester is over but something I know for sure is that I dont have to work in retail or fast food ever again if I dont want to so I really want to see what jobs I can find if I can get a good one with just my high school diploma then I wont even bother with another semester of community collage but if I cant then ill probably have to get an associates either way I hope I get the best outcome I can get If I find a job that makes me feel valued and gives me enough money to live on my own that will make me so much happier then taking classes at that terrible collage I would be lucky to have that happen